explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I am available for nakedness
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
