is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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