I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
