Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
