U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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