One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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