I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize