I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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