I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
