i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
