I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
