Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
