thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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