I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
