I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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