How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Come share oat with me in your robe
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
