it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
