Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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