I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Randomize
