guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
