the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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