god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
