Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
