come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
