Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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