I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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