just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He passed out mid-signature
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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