Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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