i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Soap is not a condiment
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
