Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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