U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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