I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
