ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
