i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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