Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
