did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
