why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
where are you?
Hypothermia
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
