he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
