Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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