drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
