My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
