I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
operation have a gay friend backfired
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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