There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
