come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
