Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
