I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
