I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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