I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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