Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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