it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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