She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
